Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Zurich: How I didn't count the ways....

To my dismay, I had to miss out on a much anticipated trip to Oktoberfest in Munich due to smashing my toe the previous weekend (we have unravelled that mystery - involving a 2am sleep-walk to the bathroom trip via smashing into a guitar amplifier with my foot). This then lead to my consolation prize of a day trip to zurich to eat, stroll slowly around the city (on said smashed toe) and trip to a country I have never been to yet: Switzerland.


I was super surprised to find there was no border security - despite their lack of interest being part of the EU, they certainly don't seem to care where you are coming in from. We were also surprised to note that they encourage you too use their Autobarn at a fee of 31 Euros, and have the same sign as Germany (i.e. no speed limit sign)… here we managed to find out the hard way (2 x speeding fines) that although the sign says 'end of speed limit', that doesn't mean no speed limit. Max you are allowed to go is 130. Travellers to Switzerland in the future.. take note.


We arrive in Zurich after what would have been a 3 hour trip turned into a 5 hour trip as both Germany and Switzerland decided to reconstruct almost every road, causing traffic jams that could last for hours. So instead we detoured via France (yup, to avoid a traffic jam, we went via another country!!!)


Once in Zurich, again, another traffic jam to get into the city due to construction of roads and buildings. (picture below) And then I was taken by surprise. It seems waiting in city traffic for 30 mins is too long in Zurich for some women. The car in front of us threw their passenger door open, the lady stepped out and opened the back door… between the two doors she proceeded to do her 'business' onto the road in front of all the traffic (with just the doors shielding showing her private parts). I was astonished… and then when she got back in and the traffic started moving, I was even more amused by watching all the cars try to not drive over where she pee'd (incase it made their tires dirty??) - hilarious.


The construction


Finally, in Zurich! My instant conclusion was that the place was designed for old super models go to die in style. Either everyone was an ex supermodel clinging onto their youth with tight clothing sporting facial implants that would scare off small children, or older people dressed with an air of snobbery to let you know that "you're hoodie is not welcome here". (Yes, it was cold and I was wearing a hoodie, so sue me Europe!).


For my canadians: Lulu Lemon hoodie and Vancouver 2010 matching backpack


I started to quickly and openly classify the population as the stereotypical Eurotrash = fashionably snobby yet not fashionable anywhere else in the world. The women wore outfits consisting of waist length leather jackets, below the knee floral skirts, criss-cross patterned stockings and finished off with lace up high heel ankle height boots. The best part of the outfit was watching the women walk on the cobblestones exceptionally well despite the spike of their heel slipping into the cracks.

You ask what the men wore? Cigars. Yup, thats all they needed to fit in. If you were sitting at starbucks or shopping for shoes, holding a cigar was a required accessory to be known you were a real man and from Zurich. And speaking of smoking - it seems Switzerland didn't get the memo that smoking isn't cool anymore… everyone had a cigarette on every corner!


Other than the fashion, Zurich seemed to be a little grey to me. The architecture was wonderful and the lake and river off it was quaint.. but compared to being in Germany and France recently, it just didn't have that same colourful air to it. Not to sound jaded (though it will) I like a city to either be old and eery (like Prague) or bright and historic (like Lille in France). Granted I didn't spend much time in this city to give it a chance, I'm thinking there are other cities in Switzerland that might just appeal more to me.


After much wandering around looking at sights, we found ourselves a posh tucked away restaurant to have much needed gnocchi and beer. We had a potentially long driving trip home ahead of us, so playing tourist was over… so I thought....

On our drive out of the city with our seat warmers on and seat adjusted to extra comfort for a long drive, we accidentally travelled through the blatantly obvious hooker zone/street. Here women were standing for at least a kilometre along the road wearing the usual 'lady of the night' getups. What surprised me was the complete forward nature to tell you what their job was and that they'd like to come into your car (and we were probably driving at a speed of 40Km/hr for me to determine this). Im unsure if the police turn a blind eye or its part of Zurich tourism, but it certainly caught my eye as something I won't forget fast. And might I add, it seemed like these women did rather well out of their trade with great boob jobs, well tailored little outfits and the ability to afford a very good personal trainer. Not my thing but good luck to them!


All in all, quite a long and interesting road trip to a new country that I can now say I've been to, yet want to see more of.




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