Finally we've come to the end of this chapter in my life and its time to leave Germany (and therefore, the end of this blog).
The next stage involves a move to Brisbane, Australia where my new hubby and I attempt to set up a life on the other side of the world to exchange leberwurst (liver sausage) for kangaroo steak.
I've admittedly had more struggles than ease here and much of it has to do with the language barriers. The cultural differences of how people treat each other had also become rather taxing on my positive attitude and took its negative toll. I didn't wish to turn this in to a German bashing blog and hope in the future there will be only the good bits that I can remember. My hardest struggle has been the difference on how people treat each other. In all the other countries I've lived in, you take the attitude of "I like you until I decide I don't". Here, majority of people, they take the attitude of "I'll treat you as a distant acquaintance until I decide I like you after a long time". This coupled with the 'fend for yourself/your not my problem' attitude in all societal situations, has really been a slow and sometimes painful learning curve/culture shock for me.
On the other-hand, I am VERY grateful for all the lovely people who I have met here, who have been friends, those who have reached out to make friends and often been a very sympathetic ear.
I am the most grateful to my husband and his parents. The hubby has been so patient, so loving and so helpful when I know it was a struggle to have to almost 'babysit' me though the ups, downs and deep-deep-downs. I only hope that in Australia I can repay the favour. His parents (who don't speak a lick of english) have been so warm, giving, helpful and great teachers of both the German language and the local dialect. These are the Germans in my life that I really lucked out with!
I have written many more blogs than I have published - sometimes they weren't posted because they might have offended the locals, sometimes because it might have bored you all to death, and sometimes just because I was being lazy and forgot to! Some out-takes from the blogs written and never published are below:
- In Germany, your shoulders aren't considered part of your personal space, feel free to smash past them on the street at anytime without apologising.
- German beds drive me insane. Its like two single mattresses pushed together and you use separate sleeping doonas/duvets/blankets. No wonder no one is having kids over here…
- Planning a wedding in Germany is not easy if you don't speak German and don't like fashion that was created in the 80's/90's
- It is hard to turn a narrow minded person open minded. It is up to the the open minded people to accept the narrow minded.
- German people don't question as much as we would in life, so don't question them why they haven't questioned it.
- There are Jesus's on a cross everywhere… and I mean randomly everywhere. In farmland, on corners of streets, in the front of day-spas, you name it. If you drive around the south/south-west of germany, you can literally make a drinking game out of it (so long as your not the driver!).
- There are also cigarette machines everywhere randomly (even in towns with no bakeries/milk-shop/bars, never fear, there is a wall with a cigarette machine!).
- Houses here contain tiles and/or floor boards only, not carpets. I was informed its because 'back in the day', tiles and boards in a house makes the cleaning duties of a house frau (wife) much easier… and life just never changed.
- Never order a McFlurry at McDonalds in Germany that requires more than one topping. Literally sends the staff members into panicked fits for breaking the rules.
- I got run over by my hubby's car… thankfully my uggboots took all the impact and no harm was done. (Speaking of his car, his beloved Audi A4, I have learnt cars here are like an extended body part, when he had to get rid of it, it was like he had to donate a kidney. The trauma is still very ripe).
- Remembering the time when we couldn't eat cucumbers, tomatoes or lettuce because someone had poisoned the German alfalfa sprouts? And Germany had blamed Spain that they were poisoning Europe until they found out it was in their own back yard? oh and yes, they forgot to apologise properly afterwards for the serious loss of farming income from neighbouring countries.
- I learnt there is no point of wearing a bra (although I still do). I have subscribed to a great podcast called Stuff Mom Never Told You by How Stuff Works and found out "If you are comfortable that way, there's no medical reason to put on a bra. The whole reason we wear them is because we've been taught by society to wear them, and now is hard to imagine life without them". Amazing.
- Its hard to cut people out of your life who you thought were good friends, but when it comes to the crunch (or you don't conform with what they consider the 'norm'), they aren't really all that 'good'.
- People can be REALLY ungrateful when raised to think you must have things, you don't have to earn them (I have commonly heard this is a Gen Y thing).
- In Germany, your wedding is NEVER about you (advice given to me thanks to Pickles & Onions when I got engaged and is very true)
- When in Germany, leading up to the ceremony, you must forgo any of your traditions and only adapt theirs. Lesson learnt here was that there was no point in having an engagement party as its not the done thing, but we must throw a polterabend party (before-the-wedding party) instead.
- We decided to have our wedding reception 1 year after our wedding in Greece - this is breaking tradition here and has been often told to me that no one will come from Germany because no one understands why they should go if its not in their own country/home-town.
- I don't believe anywhere in the world is the 'best place' to be. Everywhere has its ups and downs.
- Common assumptions about people not living in their own country: If you have left your country, it must mean that you wish to have nothing to do with your past or the people you might hold dear (or worse, the health care system isn't as good!).
- Extended adolesence. This describes part of the reason of the decreasing population in Germany in a nutshell. People want a family but have no intention of pursuing one, they are in their later stages of 30's yet aren't making any changes or actions (let alone taking on the responsibility) to create one.
- There are more down-syndrome babies in this country than I think I've ever seen anywhere in 10 years. (This might have to do partly with the previous point with late late conception and the strong religious nature of the country).
- There are many long-term long-distance relationships in Germany that have to function by both parties working in different states/provinces but they don't define themselves as in a long distance relationship because here, its just normal.
- Finally, just because the English language is easier to learn than German, doesn't make all people who speak English less of a human.
So thats it from me, my times in Germany and my take on what was a very skin thickening experience.
Alles Gute! X
